Hide and Seekttebayo
by GobiKitsune
Summary: The Naruto characters are playing hide and seek. Total crack and OOC. This is your warning. Rated as M, just in case.
1. BANG

Hide and Seek-ttebayo!

Pairings: None.  
Characters: Totally OOC.  
Rating: M for language and sexual references.

Enjoy.

* * *

Kiba: "Okay, ready... Set... HIDE!" -Randomly pulls out a pistol and shoots it- 

Naruto: "GWAH!" -Dives into the nearest bush-

Sasuke: -Just stands there-

Everyone else: -Runs away-

Kiba: "Uh, Naruto I can see your orange clothing... Even in the night."

Naruto: "SHUDDUP! I'm incognito!"

Kiba: -Shrug- "Suit yourself." -Leaves-

((Later))

Ino: -Sigh- "Why do I have to be the seeker...?"

Naruto: -Cough-

Ino: -Looks- "Haha! I see you through that bush, Naruto!"

Naruto: "Shut up woman!" -Stabs Ino in the gut with a kunai-

Ino: -Grabs her stomach- "AUGH! Why didn't I wear anything protective on my stomach! Who would have thought I would get stabbed in such an obvious place?!" -Collapses-

Sasuke: "OH MY GAWD! INO!" -Turns to Naruto- "You bastard!"

Naruto: -Jumps out- "BRING IT!"

Sasuke: -Charges at Naruto with his chidori- "AAAAAAHHHH!"

Naruto: -Charges at Sasuke with his rasengan- "AAAAAHHHH!"

Sasuke: "AAAAAAHHHH!"

Naruto: "AAAAAAHHHH!"

Sasuke: "AAAAAAHHHH!"

Naruto: "AAAAAAHHHH!"

Naruto: -Stops and gasps a few times-

Sasuke: -Stops and starts panting-

((Long silence))

Naruto: -Charges again- "AAAHHH!"

Sasuke: -Charges again- "AAAAAHHH!"

((Large explosion))

Chouji: Ino-chaaaan, have you seen my chips anywhere? -Looks and sees Ino's corpse-

Ino: -Dead-

Chouji: OH MY GAWD! -Runs to Ino- You ate the last of my chips you bitch! -Kicks-

((Elsewhere))

Sakura: "Nobody can find me because I hide very well and I'm smart to I know where to hide to blend in haha." -Grins-

Shikamaru: -Yawn- "Found you, Sakura."

Sakura: "How'd you find me?!"

Shikamaru: "Did you ever think that it's rather unnatural to have pink hair?"

Sakura: "..." -Blinks- "Not really."

Shikamaru: -Sigh- "Yeah. Thought so."

((Elsewhere elsewhere))

Neji: "This is stupid. I shouldn't have to play fucking hide and seek-"

Tenten: "HIDE AND SEEK IS NOT STUPID YOU BASTARD!" -Pulls out a gun and shoots Neji-

Neji: "ARGH!" -Collapses-

Tenten: "Oh, crap, it's just you, Neji! I thought you were Naruto!"

Neji: "Good lord why the hell did you- wait, why did you want to kill Naruto?"

Tenten: "He stole my backstory." -Growls-

Neji: -Bleeds to death- "Of course he did... Of course he did." -Passes out-

Tenten: -Reloads- "One of these days, Naruto, one of these days..."

((Meanwhile))

Naruto: "Wait, why were we fighting?"

Sasuke: "You know, I have no idea. Something about Ino?"

Naruto: "Pfft. Who cares about Ino. She's just like Hinata."

((A few miles away))

Hinata: "I feel a disturbance."

((Back to Naruto and Sasuke))

Sasuke: "Whatever. I'm gonna go back to find Karin, and, uh, those other weirdos." -Gets up and leaves-

Naruto: "'Kay!"

((Long pause))

Naruto: "WAIT A MINUTE!"

((Somewhere in the forest far, far away))

Kiba: "FUCK, I'm lost!" -Growls- "Akamaru, what do you think we should do?"

Akamaru: "Bark bark bark!"

Kiba: "..."

Akamaru: "..."

Kiba: "You sick minded bastard. I don't even know where Hinata is."

((Back to the character I haven't talked about yet))

Shino: -At his house- "What? I'm not even playing hide and seek. I left hours ago." -Sips tea-

**TO BE CONTINUED...  
**

* * *

Ahaha... I made the beginning of this with my school friend, and she said I should write it down as a fanfiction. Of course, I just kept adding to it and adding to it... There WILL be a part two, and possibly a part three, depending on the reviews I get. This was fun to write though, so I really want to get part two out ASAP. 

Ja ne!


	2. Masterpiece

Last time, on Hide and Seek-ttebayo...

_Naruto: -Screams into the phone- "Damn it, Sakura! Cut the red wire!"_

_Sakura: "There are two red wires, and if I cut the wrong one we'll all die!"_

_Naruto: "But the bomb goes off in twenty seconds, you have to pick!"_

_((Elsewhere))_

_Kakashi: "There's no hope left for humanity... We'll all be destroyed." -Shakes head-_

_Kurenai: "Kakashi, please don't say that... We have a chance. The bomb squad is dealing with the bomb at the Hokage's mansion!"_

_Kakashi: "You don't understand, Sakura IS the bomb squad."_

_Kurenai: "..."_

_Kakashi: "..."_

_Kurenai: "We are SO fucked."_

Shino: "What the HELL was that preview?! Get back to the fanfiction!"

* * *

Naruto: -Runs- "Gotta hide gotta hide gotta hide!"

Sakura: -Yells- "We WILL find you, Naruto!"

Naruto: "Run run run...!" -Goes faster-

Shikamaru: "It's only a matter of time." -Sighs-

Naruto: LIKE HELL IT IS! -Jumps over a tree-

Hinata: "My gawd he can run!"

Shikamaru: "Well, it IS Naruto we're talking about... Plus, the anime running scenes tend to last for five episodes before anyone actually catches up with them. Maybe."

Hinata: -Grits teeth- "Fucking running scenes."

((Elsewhere))

Kiba: "I'm so fucking LOST! Everyone's probably left by now..."

Akamaru: "Bark bark BARK bark!"

Kiba: -Sigh- "then go over by Ino's corpse. It's not like she's ever going to use it again."

Akamaru: "Bark!"

((Outside the forest))

Karin: "SAAASUKE-KUN! SASUUUUKE-KUN! SAAASUUUUKEEE-KUUUUN!"

Juugo: "Good gawd, she's STILL going?!"

Suigetsu: "Yeah… Can't you just kill her or something?!"

Juugo: "I'd love to. Trust me. But Sasuke would have another emo fit."

Suigetsu: "… So?"

Juugo: -Blinks- "Genius."

Karin: "SAAAASUKE-KUU-" -Gets her head chopped off-

Juugo: "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU OBSESSIVE BITCH!"

((A long pause as Karin bleeds to death))

Suigetsu: "We're free. We're finally free." -Grins-

Juugo: "I love the silence."

Sasuke: "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?!"

((Elsewhere))

Naruto: -Still running- "Wow, Shikamaru was right. These running scenes do last five episodes. And I've passed Ino's urine covered corpse about eleven times already."

Tenten: -Screams- "I WILL CATCH YOU NARUTO, AND I WILL KILL YOU LIKE YOU DID TO MY CHILDHOOD!"

Naruto: "Agh! You idiot! I didn't even write the series How the hell would I know about your past?!"

Tenten: "You're the main character!" –Pulls out a shotgun-

Naruto: "SHIT."

Tenten: -Shoots at Naruto, reloads, and shoots again-

Naruto: -Has his arm blown off- "GRAAAH! WHAT THE HELL?!" -Collapses-

Tenten: "Haha, finally I have you…"

Naruto: "What is your problem you insane bitch?! I haven't even done anything to you!" -Grabs his armless side-

Sakura: -Runs out and punches Tenten in the face, sending her flying- "Haha! Now I have yo- OH MY GAWD! YOU DON'T HAVE AN ARM!"

Naruto: "No shit, Sherlock!"

Sakura: "My gawd, you're bleeding to death!"

Naruto: "YEAH!"

Sakura: "Good lord… It's so ripped apart!"

Naruto: "… You're not going to help me, are you?"

Sakura: "That wasn't part of the plan."

Naruto: "I hate you."

Sakura: "You love me."

Naruto: "I do… I do…" -Passes out-

((A few hours later))

Kiba: "Okay, now that everyone's been found, what's the score?"

Shikamaru: "Ino's dead, Hinata's scarred for life, Naruto's missing an arm, Shino never showed up, Tenten was sent to a mental institution, Sakura's laughing, Chouji had to be dragged away from Ino's corpse, Sasuke left- again-, and I think everyone else is fine…"

Kiba: "Okay then. Let's go home."

Naruto: "You're still not gonna help me, are you?"

Kiba: "Nah. You're a Jinchuuriki. You'll live."

Naruto: "True, true."

Kyuubi: "Stupid bastard."

Naruto: -Slaps himself- "Nobody asked you!"

Kiba: "All in all, I'd say this game went pretty well. Other than the dead and dying. Let's go home."

((Meanwhile))

Sasuke: "I leave for just a few hours, and you fucking kill Karin!" -Waves arms- "What is wrong with you?!"

Juugo: "…"

Suigetsu: "…"

Sasuke: -Faceplam- "Insane killers and experiments. Of course."

((Elsewhere))

Shino: "This… this is amazing. I can't believe you made this, Sai!"

Sai: -Nods- "It's my best work."

Shino: "Yeah… Just NEVER show it to Naruto."

Sai: "That I cannot promise."

**END... Or is it?  
**

* * *

Haha. I told you I'd get it done ASAP. Now, if anyone wants a bonus chapter, please tell me. Or this WILL be the end. :3 


End file.
